Emotional Rollercoaster
It's one of those days today!! The one where you feel like throwing in the towel, quitting, giving up blah, blah. I asked myself "why am I doing this?" I really want too and always have wanted too. Is that good enough reason for me to keep at it?
I guess if I don't I will feel worse. I have come this far, it would not make sense to quit now. The reason for my "down" feelings and why they come around more often is known by me. Especially lately, something has dawned on me, something I have been in denial about for way to long. Something I need to deal with. Something im not ready to talk about.
My nutrition is still spot on. I have increased the meals and am finding it pretty easy to deal with. I am suprised that I can eat so frequently and still manage to feel the weight slowly coming off. I know my metabolism has sped up, I can feel that too. So I guess im on the right track right now.
Today I stood in the bathroom with my heels and practised posing until I broke down. I cant do it!! It is getting harder, I seem to be loosing it. I have to stop being so down on myself.
Perhaps I need to look at the positives so far. They are:
1. Im healthy, I eat good clean food.
2. Im loosing weight.
3. ......I cant think of anything else right now. Perhaps I will try this again in a day or so when im feeling better about everything.
Stay strong Deb! You sound like you need a big hug! I cant know what you're going through because I've never competed before, but I do know there are lots of positives:
- Each day you are becoming physically stronger
- You are developing mental toughness
- You are inspiring others (especially me!!)
- You are a great role model to your family and friends
- Your body will be loving all that great clean food
- MOST IMPORTANTLY you are pursuing your dream!
I hope we can catch up and have coffee in a few weeks when I'm back from Melbourne.
Hilary xx
Posted by
Miss Positive |
7:57 PM
Dear Deb
The whole journey to competition can illuminate other things that are going on in your life right now and make you reexamine what you believe in. I know that sounds extreme, but the journey for me was pretty life changing. I hope that whatever is bothering you can be resolved.
As for the posing, if you think you are losing it, you are probably getting better because you are practising so much. When are you seeing Jo again?
Hugs to you Deb ((((DEB)))) - you're doing a fine job, I have every confidence in you :)
Hugs
Liz;)
Posted by
LizN |
9:36 PM
I know exactly how you feel Deb. I have those days where I think "what the hell am I doing?", "i'll never make it as a figure competitor", "i wont lose the weight", etc, etc. I havent started my posing yet, so you're ahead on me with that one.
We're going to make it to the QLD titles together and we're going to kick some serious butt!
xo
Posted by
Bug's Mumma |
8:52 AM
Deb, you're an incredibly brave person to put your true feelings out to the world. I commend you! I've had many, many thoughts of doubt and self worth through this journey too. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
My biggest hurdle is keeping on track with my diet and posing in MY SHOES! Uuurrggggh! I feel like jello skating on ice! I can't do my poses in the shoes now but I WILL DO IT! And so will you.
Email me if you want me to call you.
Hugs
Maraina
xx
Posted by
Maraina |
10:40 AM
Everything will soon just fall into place for you Deb. Just persist with it, the results will pay off & you will be at a stage where you couldn't be anymore proud of yourself for persisting when you were feeling at your lowest.
xxTRacey
Posted by
Tracey |
12:22 PM
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